Blackhumouristpress's Blog

November 3, 2009

Twisted Inksters

Filed under: Uncategorized — blackhumouristpress @ 8:11 am
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Now this story might seem like it’s going all over the place and it is but it’s not every day you run across some exciting people who are worthy of having their stories told.
Eddie George, a man with two first names, was called Ed, Eddie, Edward, George and Georgie Boy. As well as Boy George but that got him really angry to hear that nickname. Eddie grew up in suburban Detroit in the eighties and fell in with a group of gear heads that listened to the Stray Cats and a lot of older Rockabilly music. Racing old cars and listening to hillbilly rock was what Eddy and his brother Jimmy and Cousin Virgil did. They eventually each took to playing instruments and over the course of twenty something years, they became a great Rockabilly trio that went by the name of the Inkster Twisters. They grew up west of Detroit in a Wayne County suburb of Inkster and actually lived right on Inkster and so the name was a natural.
By day Eddie was a police officer within the city of Detroit. Eddie hated his job for the most part but really liked having guns and being able to go as fast as he wanted in his police cruiser. When Eddy wasn’t working, he was playing music and firing all sorts of collected fire arms that he acquired over the years. It all started with confiscating weapons from potential criminals and then never turning them over. It innocently started with storing them in his police cruiser trunk and forgetting about them by accident. There was a Thompson machine gun used by gangsters during the Roaring Twenties and Dismal Thirties, double barrel 12 gauge shot guns with the barrels and then sawed off too. There were 357 magnums and Saturday night specials. Eddy began to collect and over the course of twenty years, he had quite a collection. On the day Eddie met Tulip, he was listening to Eddie Cochran on a CD player that was hidden under the dashboard of his 1957 Chevrolet Bel-Air. The car was in mint condition and the AM radio still worked great but Eddie wanted to hear all his Rockabilly favorites all the time and so he bought a CD player but hid it within the car. It was sort of like seeing an Amish farmer in a horse and buggy but talking on a cell phone. I heard they do that now.
“Ma’am … Suppose we start at the beginning,” said Eddy to Tulip.
“Well my husband Bill had been drinking and he came home belligerent as usual and started smacking me around. I told him I was leaving this time for good and he went and got the gun you see over there and threatened to shoot me. He put the barrel right to my head… I’m sorry but I’m still all shook up over this… He put the barrel to my temple and cocked the hammer. I thought about my four children and what life might be for them without their mother and I fought back. I was able to twist the gun in Billy’s hand and the gun discharged in his face,” said Tulip while sobbing.
Billy lay on the couch with most of his face missing and a section of his head. Chunks of skin and scalp stuck to the walls and couch where Billy was laying. It was gruesome to be sure and a sight that would have made most people unaccustomed to such activities, clutch their stomachs. Tulip was cool as a cucumber as the expression goes and Eddie was in love. All Eddie could think of was Tulip’s pretty face and nice figure as he listened to the mostly bogus details of events.
Now they questioned Tulip and her children and took finger prints and then there was more questioning before it was determined that all that took place was as Tulip had said. Tulip was free to go about her life and she did.
Tulip was a young woman of twenty six years of age, tall and slender with an angelic face, the sort of face that could get anyone to believe that she did not take a gun belonging to her third husband and kill him with it. This was roughly around the same time that her husband Billy had inherited over a million dollars from his well to do aunt who never had children of her own. That money came from her husband who worked for the Ford Motor Company for almost forty years. Billy’s aunt’s husband bought a lot of stock in Ford and saved and saved and then died and left it to his wife. His wife, the aunt of Billy and Billy in turn was the husband of Tulip, third husband and father to the twins who happened to be the youngest of the four children belonging to Tulip. Confusing? Well the aunt left this money to Billy. Billy was a man of almost fifty years of age married to a woman half his age, that being Tulip, who spawned twin boys belonging genetically to Billy and Tulip collectively. Billy had adopted the other two children that belonged to two other men that Tulip had been married to beginning at the age of 18. Now keeping all this in mind, Billy had made out a will and named his loving wife Tulip as the executor of his will as well as the 100% recipient of his kingdom on earth. Tulip got the house, cars, boat, snowmobile, motorcycle and a little over one million dollars.
The first time Eddie had consummated his relationship with Tulip, he was amazed to find that Tulip still had the body of a young woman who had not given birth. The skin all over her body was firm and without any marks that might lead one to believe that she may have given birth once or multiple times as was the case with Tulip. Tulip had gaudy tattoos in various spots all over her body. There was the red rose on her shoulder with the name of her first husband Joe and then a gothic looking skull bearing the name of her second husband Phil, four stars around her ankle signifying the four children she bore and then a blue picket fence above her vagina that read, “ home sweet home”. That last tattoo was Billy’s idea. He paid for that tattoo and the five thousand dollar boob job for Tulip.
Over the course of time and that time being three months, Eddie married Tulip, sold his home and had a home built from the money from the sale of his home and a donation from Tulip. This bi-level was brick with a basement and six bathrooms in Inkster. The master suite had a hot tub, whirlpool and a bidet for Tulip. Tulip thought that was an ingenious idea upon going on their honeymoon in France. The caveat in getting a home together was that it had to be decked out in 1950’s era furnishings. Tulip and Eddie went to estate sales all around Detroit and suburbs and found metal cabinets, kidney bean coffee tables, old radios and televisions and so on. When they finally moved into their castle, it looked like something out of Leave it to Beaver. Tulip bought a 1959 Cadillac with huge gondola fins, cut her hair to look like a teenie bopper from the 1950’s and became the quintessential Rockabilly chick. Tulip’s new thing was going to all of Eddie’s performances in and around Detroit, Toledo, Cleveland and even Chicago. Life was perfect for Tulip and Eddie, the four children and two dogs but as usually the case, there was a fly in the ointment.
Now Billy before he died had been a frequent customer at a strip club up in Oakland County, far enough away from home. A young mother with a child by the name of Crystal thought that she had Billy on the hook. Billy had told Crystal that he would divorce his wife and marry her. Billy also happened to mention that he had come into money and was going to start a business that he had not quite decided on yet and try to live happily ever after. It sounded all good to Crystal. Crystal was living in a trailer park with her alcoholic mother who had a job standing on the corner of busy streets holding signs alerting customers to the fact that a particular store would be closing and that the contents were being liquidated for nearly nothing. Crystal began stripping and before long, found a man that could save her from everything. That man was Billy.
Crystal began to write anonymous letters to Tulip after the death of Billy. These letters were left on the windshield of Tulip’s car or in the mail. The letters were always letters cut from magazines to form words and sentences. The letters were varied a bit but mostly said about the same thing.
“I know you killed Billy, you bitch. I’m going to turn you in.”
Crystal went to a detective in the Detroit Police Department and turned over letters from Billy that stated his love for Crystal and how he was going to leave Tulip and marry her. Before long, Tulip was back in court and the case was re-opened. The letters and gifts to Crystal including pictures of Billy and Crystal together during a Miami vacation were all pretty strong evidence. Crystal was weepy on the stand and built up the love between her and Billy to be quite a bit more than it ever was. Truth was that Billy was just stringing Crystal along and never really had any intention of divorcing Tulip and marrying her. It suddenly became quite interesting to not only Detroit and the people of Michigan but to the late night Headline News show that followed the case heavily. They interviewed people that knew all parties involved and played and replayed pictures of Tulip with her children and Eddie and then of her in sunglasses walking out of a courthouse while holding hands with Eddie. It became quite a circus. This all came to a halt the night that Tulip broke into the trailer belonging to Crystal’s mother and attempted to shoot Crystal. Crystal and her mother were both shot at close range but not killed. Ironically, Eddie was dispatched to the scene of the crime and had the responsibility of gathering up his own wife. When Eddie came home to collect Tulip, she was in the kitchen making oatmeal cookies and listening to Tammy Wynette’s song, Stand by Your Man.
I could spend the next twenty or so pages telling you about the court case where Tulip cried and screamed and had to be restrained or about the plethora of reporters that stood guard outside their home. Tulip wound up going to prison, Eddie got the kids and money and then something really bizarre happened. Eddie fell in love with Crystal and wound up marrying her. They all live happily in Eddie’s custom built home that is decked out with furnishings and appliances from the Eisenhower era. Crystal played the part of the loving wife. I’m hoping poor Eddie does not get knocked off anytime soon. Crystal could be found looking up poisons on the internet on one of the computers at a branch of the Detroit Library. A young and pretty single woman, living hand to mouth as they say was the part time branch librarian who noticed what was left on the screen by Crystal. This young librarian watched the whole thing for years unfold on Headline News. If necessary she was ready to step in with evidence. More than once the young librarian lay in bed thinking of ways she could meet Eddie. It was all just a matter of time.

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