Blackhumouristpress's Blog

May 6, 2014

For Whom the Bell Curve Tolls or WARP- White Anglo Racist Protestants

Filed under: Ethnicity,humor,Short Story — blackhumouristpress @ 11:22 pm
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A man by the name of Alouis A, was devising a test to determine the true thoughts of all owners of the NBA in order to expose racism that he felt still exists in the United States. It started with his own radio show and then talk shows, then rallies until CNN gave Alouis A. a forum. Was Alouis A. incensed by the comments of Donald Sterling? Not really, in fact he suspected most NBA owners were of the same mindset. Alouis A. wore horned rimmed glasses and wore an Afro. He would most definitely be perceived by white America as an educated and angry African-American. What could he possibly be mad about? He graduated with several degrees, lived in a nice house in the suburbs where his kids went to exclusive schools. Alouis A., had a great disdain for stereotypical African-Americans who personified all of white America’s fears and jokes. It was Alouis’s quest to change that mindset in anyway possible. Donald Sterling made it possible for a person like himself to become prominent and a voice a new voice for a new era of the black struggle.

“76 percent of the league is being propped up on the backs of African-American men that line the pockets of some very rich men in the third, arguably second most profitable professional leagues in America. Who but a plantation owner and an owner of human beings would say something like “I support them and give them food, and clothes, and cars, and houses. Who gives it to them? Does someone else give it to them? … Who makes the game? Do I make the game, or do they make the game? Is there 30 owners, that created the league?” … Come on now. This didn’t come out of the mouth of Thomas Jefferson. This is a current thought by a respected man in our society. I think every owner should have to willingly agree to a list of questions given while a polygraph is being administered so we can better understand the sentiments of those that really are some of the puppet masters of our economy. If you are not a racist, prove it. I’m calling on the president of the NBA to force this upon the ownership. I am not alone in the sentiment and will call for a boycott of every African-American NBA player until every owner submits to a list of questions with a polygraph. I suspect Donald Sterling is not alone. As of now, I do not have a list formulated. But rest assured… I will “

Alouis A. happened to be at a DC bar discussing a list of potential questions with other black activists when a tabloid gun- for- hire sat at a booth behind them and let his recorder record the list of potential questions to the NBA owners. The final list hadn’t been agreed upon. Alouis A. soon scrapped the idea when the graphic list of offensive questions was published in various tabloids and on of all things- TMZ. The potential questions were as follows.

1. Are you uncomfortable when you see an African-American man with a white woman?

2. If the white woman is fat and ugly are you less offended than if she were an attractive white woman?

3. Do you perceive African-Americans as lazy?

4. Do you believe that African-Americans have become more equal at the expense of white people?

5. Have you ever experienced anxiety over two or more African-American men walking towards you?

6. Have you used the term “colored” or “negro” in the past thirty years?

7. Does it bother you that Michael Jordan is an “equal”?

8. Do you see Michael Jordan as an equal?

9. Do you think racism exists?

10. Do you think the percentage of incarcerated African-Americans is justified?

11. Is Nelson Mandela the greatest leader of our modern age?

12. Did you vote for Mitt Romney?

13. Do you think the Republican Party is racist?

14. Have you ever told a black joke?

15. Have you ever used the N word?

16. Does the N word offend you or do you just claim to be offended because it is expected of you to be offended?

17. Do you believe that IQ differences are genetic and racial?

18. Did Apartheid offend you?

19. Did you ever visit South Africa prior to 1994?

20. If your daughter came home with an African-American man, would you be disturbed?

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