Blackhumouristpress's Blog

August 26, 2015

Back from The Future or Kiss Them For Me

Luke fell asleep or passed out as a song from Romeo Void blared on the stereo in his room. He laid naked next to his girlfriend. They had matching Mohawk haircuts. Pia was curled up in the crook of his arm. They made a cassette tape of songs Luke liked and Pia. Til Tuesday Voices Carry played after Fear’s Let’s Have a War. Luke’s pulse was low. Whale low like thirty beats per minute. His blood pressure dropped and he found himself walking down a long tunnel and at the end of the tunnel and walked down the sidewalk from the grade school he attended, up the driveway of his parent’s home to find a house full of dead relatives sitting around a table eating coffee cake and talking. Uncle Charlie with his droopy eyes smiled.

“You’re in for a goddamn treat today, kid… Like to drink? Like to take pills? Like to drink and take pills? Go take a look in your room… Go ahead.”

The room was all sanitized. No more Plasmatics, Dead Kennedys, Circle Jerks posters. No cute photo booth pictures with Pia. It looked more like an office than the room that he remembered. The door to the closet lead to an office with a woman behind a glass. She stood from her desk and told Luke to go on through to the other door. The other door lead to a bathroom. Luke searched around in the dark for a light. He flicked on the light and beside him was a woman he never met but seemed to know him. She stood in the doorway with her arms folded in the doorway. She was blond and had some freckles and smiled as if she was about to say something funny but never spoke. He looked into the mirror to find someone who looked a bit like him but much older, stronger and tired. A girl of about twelve years old walked in without saying a word plopped down on the toilet and began to piss. A younger girl of about ten years of age came in to brush her teeth. She smiled and hugged Luke without saying a word. Next came in was a small mixed race little girl with the charming smile of Shirley Temple who dropped her dolls into the bathtub full of bubbles. The room went from a small water closet to a large room that seemed to grow. Next to enter the room was a young man in his twenties who looked very fit who was looking down at a hand held computer. He looked up and smiled a crooked smile, raised his eyebrows and kept walking. He was followed by a smaller boy who held a hand held game. The boy was so engrossed with the game that he bumped into Luke’s bare chest. He looked up and smiled. Another young woman walked in walking a large black dog. She had strikingly blue eyes. The music was loud. The Souxsie and the Banshees song Kiss Them For Me was playing but he thought he heard the young woman say “hi dad”. A tall black woman with braids walked around the blond woman. She never made eye contact with Luke and walked quickly away. An exotic woman with faint freckles walked by with her arms folded, shook her head, grabbed Luke’s chin and shook his face. She looked at the blond woman and winked.

Transfixed by the inner sound of your promise to be found, oh

Nothing or no-one will ever Make me let you down

Kiss them for me, I may be delayed Kiss them for me, if I am delayed

The blond woman followed down towards the end of the bathroom.  The door opened up and inside was an ice rink full of people who waved while skating.  Luke kept walking towards the next door.  Through the next door was a white room with a stand-up bass.  Luke walked up and played the bass but no sound came out except the music which was already playing.  The next room was full of papers with only tunnels like cornfields.  The small blond girl with freckles laughed and ran.  The man with the computer followed by the boy with a hand held walked by.  The pretty little mixed race girl with blue eyes ran and looked over her shoulder.  The young woman with the black dog jogged by Luke.  The twelve year old girl danced past in circles.  Luke ran behind all of them until they disappeared.  Luke opened a door and immediately fell in the dark.  He picked up speed until he couldn’t breathe and then he hit the ground.

“What the fuck!  What did I fucking have?”

Pia looked up at Luke who was sweating out of every pore on his body and shaking.  The music kept playing but it was distant.  She stood up and grabbed a cum shirt off of the floor and wiped his forehead.  She asked what was wrong.  Luke’s teeth chattered as he tried to explain his vivid dream.

“I was old and shit and I had like six children and three wives and there was ice and music and a lot of bullshit paper work.  It went on and on.  I kept walking through doors.  People had phones that weren’t connected to anything.  People were fatter and there were more of them.  There were no Soviets and people went to Cuba like it was Vegas and everyone had atomic bombs…  People watched television everywhere and I think their televisions were watching them.  It was fucking scary.  The whole time I walked I felt like I was being pushed through life faster until everything just blurred and nothing could be remembered or enjoyed…  I think it was a dream but somehow I think it was something else.  It was so fucking real…  Listen…  Tonight I just want to rent a video from the video store and just be cool.  I don’t know what kind of trip that was but it wasn’t cool.  It was like it’s a Wonderful Life gone wrong…  You know what I mean?”

“Was I there?”

Luke didn’t answer.  He looked into the mirror and sang a song that didn’t exist yet in 1984.

Transfixed by the inner sound of your promise to be found, oh

Nothing or no-one will ever Make me let you down

Kiss them for me, I may be delayed Kiss them for me, if I am delayed

August 17, 2015

Winds of Potential Change

Filed under: humor,humour — blackhumouristpress @ 11:54 am
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Television blares images- the princess holding her baby is apprehensive, pensive look towards Calais

Knowing there is no way to change the ebb and flow of those who

Run from their kingdom- a mass of human destruction called Syria

Serious wringing of hands over construction of nuclear matter- does it matter?

You get a bomb, they got a bomb we have a bomb and the anxiety of what’s yet

To come.

If you conserve we preserve Federal Reserve and reservations for the indigenous and a

Prestigious candidate debating waiting for him implode to meet his fate propped by polls by those

Who see the holes in the road leading around the bend back to where we stand in the slipping

Sand- building Berlinish walls at the Rio Grande for the Grand Old Party going the way of Whigs

Stand tall and shake a big twig for the greatest country you never met- Tremendous debt and a genuflect towards a Chinese syndrome of the purchase of consumer not-so-goods

Come back to bed, dear- it’s only the wind of potential change in the age of climate changing back to the times of dinosaurs, pre-historic ingenuity- igneous, porous blind faith in the ability of the electorate to find the protectorate of this really great way of living- with liberty and justice for all… or at least some.

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