Blackhumouristpress's Blog

January 30, 2020

Naked Mole Rats Rule

Travis rationalized at a young age that school was really just a bunch
of bullshit.  He knew he wanted to be a hockey player and if he didn’t
make it to the NHL, he would do something with the sport somewhere.

Travis took French and so that if he were going to get a job one day
with a team, he didn’t want to rule out the Montreal Canadians and so
he did well at French.  Travis actually picked up CBC Francais and
listened to games in French.  It was the other subjects.  After gym
and French, Travis was barely hanging in above a complete failure.
Biology and Math were the driest of all subjects.  Travis’ math
teacher Ms. Cline let Travis know that as his mother’s friend, she
would be letting her know just how poorly Travis was doing.  Ms. Cline
didn’t have Travis’ mother’s number coded into her phone.  She read it
out of an old school book of numbers.  Poor Doris’ eyes were getting
bad in her middle forties.  No menopause yet but eyes were fuzzy.
Somehow Doris Cline was off on the numbers.  Travis’ mother’s number
ended with 7235.  Doris’ poor eyes read the 5 as a 6 and wound up
texting Travis.  Travis couldn’t believe his good fortune.

“Hey girl!  Hope all is well.  I haven’t seen you in a while at
Pilates.  Listen- junior is not cutting in class and he doesn’t seem
to care if he does well or not.  His attitude is poor and he is often
nodding off …  I know he’s a big time hockey guy but no college takes
people who fail.  He’s on the cusp of failure now.  I hate to come to
you with this but I know you care…”

“Oh wow.  I will certainly talk to him.  Thx for telling me.”
Minutes went on without another text.  Doris wrote back again.

“Okay…  Hope you’re not mad.”
“I’m cool.”
“I mean…  It’s all good.  I will handle.”
“Wow, Jill…  You sound like a teenage boy.  Are you getting pounded right now?”

The question stunned Travis.  He never thought of his mother, a
divorced woman of three as a sexual creature.
“Um Doris…  We make love, okay?”
“Um?  Since when do you use um?”
“When you make me sound like an animal.”
“What about your new toy referring to his cock as a naked mole rat
looking for his hole.  How about the night you made so much noise that
the Indians on the other side of your bedroom wall called the police
because they thought you were being killed.”
“OMG!  I’ll have to erase this.  What if my kids find my phone!  I
met another really nice guy on that one site.  He was so sweet but
this is the pic I took of him before I let him hit it with me.”
It was a picture of a grotesquely obese man in a thong, covered with
hair with his pinky pointing at the corner of his mouth.
“No fucking way!”
“Yes fucking way.  It smelled of skunk and ass.  He had more ball
cheese than the state of Wisconsin.”

The thought came to Doris that maybe possibly, she wasn’t
corresponding with Jill and that maybe, quite possibly, she was going
back and forth with Travis.

“Travis?”
“Yes, ma’am…”
“OMFG…”
“Yup…  I’m fixin to aks momma about the naked mole rat finding its
hole.  I can’t imagine what shade of white she will turn to.”
“Listen… Do not do that!  I think we can work this out.”

Now Travis took a few subjects pass/fail.  Math was not one of those
subjects.  Doris Cline had a hard time looking Travis in the eyes but
was floored by his T-shirt. Travis went to the mall and had a shirt
made at a kiosk of a bucktooth weasel holding his cock with one hand
and giving the thumbs up sign with the other.  The shirt read, “Naked
Mole Rats Rule”.  On the back it read, “Filling holes for a real long
time”.  Doris was horrified.  Travis somehow received an A in math
that quarter.

Leave a Comment »

No comments yet.

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: